I wrote this back in October. Then I decided not to post it. Why? Because I feared judgement. When it happened I blamed myself. I should have been watching every second. I should have been better. I had run a risk assessment of the field: I'd noted no heights to fall from, no water to fall in, … Continue reading The Day my Autism Saved my Daughter’s Life
"I don't understand." I say this often. It's one of my catchphrases these days. I use it when people behave in a way that seems illogical and strange to me. I use it when I'm hurt. I don't understand why people can't let me know if they're running late. I don't understand why people don't … Continue reading I don’t understand.
I'm hiding in the kitchen. I should probably admit that up front, just so you don't think I'm someone I'm not. Family have come round. I'm tired. There was this sudden feeling of proximity and being encroached upon. I have made my excuses, and am hiding. I don't want them all to stop interacting and … Continue reading Silliness
Here I go again. Travelling off to see people for New Year's Eve. Quite the social butterfly. I'm sitting, strapped down, wings tucked in, as we race through the windy, Welsh roads. All corners. Welsh roads skirt every obstacle, and when your country is built of valleys carved by water and its wayward passage making, … Continue reading New Year’s Eve
Winter is a time of events and social quandaries. This year I have been kinder to myself about ensuring I get some recovery time. It's so important. Such a huge part of self-care. At a party I'm often coping at my limits. I suddenly feel like I'm made of corners, I'm aware of every angle … Continue reading Eventful Autism
It's hard to make friends when you're a grown up. Plenty of neurotypicals struggle with it, it's certainly not just autistic people who find building new friendships hard. The problem with building friendships, is that you have to invest time and energy in people, in the hopes that you will like them, they will like … Continue reading Friends
I love the winter. Spaces that summer warmth fills with people, are emptied by North winds. Faces and voices are muffled by scarves and hats. Expressions are muted. People hide away in homes, or collect together in arranged huddles at Christmas markets and concerts. Groupings are pre-arranged and less organic. I'm less likely to fall … Continue reading Autism in the Winter